QuipTracks
Ghost Rider
We've all heard Satan's pitch at least once in our lives. The offer's always a little different. Sometimes it's a dependable new set of encyclopedias. Sometimes it's a "free" gift card. But the price (you would find if you didn't slam the door in his face) is always the same: your soul. "Would you like to supersize your order for just a soul more?"
You might actually want to consider taking the deal, however, when you hear about a common side effect: Becoming a badass flaming skeleton with the power to kill demons effortlessly. Johnny Blaze discovers this 20-some years after wasting his deal trying to save his klutzy father from cancer—who immediately kills himself in a freak 'Leap of Death' accident. Unfortunately, Johnny's super cool affliction manifests itself after he becomes Nicholas Cage, so instead of becoming the chick-magnet you would expect, he's stuck pining after his old flame, Roxie (played by porn actress Eva Mendez...wait, what? She's not in porn? She's been in other, real, shown-in-theaters movies? That can't be right...)
Anyway. The devil overreacts when his son, Blackheart, comes out of the closet, and Mephistopheles hires Johnny to scare him straight.
