Ice on Mars & QuipTracks
Star Trek Voyager Season 1, Disc 2 Set
The Cloud (riffed by Ice on Mars, feat. Aaron Bossig): Much like "The Room," the titular "Cloud" of this episode of ST:V never appears. Perhaps "the cloud" is a state of mind? A mental fog that comes over one when watching such a droll, meandering piece of "art"? Philosophers will debate for centuries.
Join Aaron Bossig & Michael T. Bradley (of Ice on Mars!) as they take on one of the most pointless exercises in "trying to be like old-school Trek" ever, in which ... Neelix is the sane one (nothing means anything anymore?!?). Until the end. Then it's lunacy.
Also: learn a new word! "Suture." I know, I know, SCI-FI, right? BUT IT'S REAL.
Eye of the Needle (riffed by QuipTracks): After Neelix, holo-lungs. a hall of mirrors, and space butts, Star Trek: Voyager finally decides to shape up and get serious when the crew discovers a wormhole that leads to the Alpha Quadrant—that's the good quadrant! Unable to fit through the wormhole, the crew instead tries to use it to send a message to a Romulan ship that, for some reason, is loitering around the other side. This is their chance to get messages to StarFleet and let everybody that they hope is worried about them know what's going on. BUT WAIT! Could they also beam to the other ship through the wormhole?! They've just GOTTA! Yes, after six long episodes, the Voyager crew is finally going to make it home! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!
Ex Post Facto (riffed by Ice on Mars): Imagine a world where, when murder happens, the decedent's memories are put into a USB stick & loaded into an artificial person, then testifies against the defendant. Pretty awesome, right? Well, all that happens BEFORE the opening credits here. Instead, we get some wannabe-noir starring Wang & Paris (they're cops!). Tuvok has to clean up the mess.
THRILL! as an old guy whines about his uselessness as a husband. GASP! as Wang delivers exciting commentary like, "Then we went into the other room." SUSPEND! your disbelief as Paris gets lucky with a woman! REEL! in terror from the bottom-of-the-barrel makeup jobs (seriously, did they just tape on some shit they had lying around the wardrobe room five minutes before the cameras rolled?).
Ice on Mars tracks feature Michael T. Bradley, Josh Robinson, and Aaron Bossig. Eye of the Needle features Tristan and Tracy, of QuipTracks.